My Tubal Ligation Journey Begins

A tubal ligation “journey”!? Yes I will call it that. I mean have you ever typed tubal ligation into Google!? Good grief! Is there anyone who loves it since having it done? Are there any satisfied customers? No really, I am having a hard time finding any “good” stories! All I can find is posts on PTLS (Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome)  and every other side effect or problem people have had. Which is great and informative if that is the info I am looking for, but it isn’t. I think in my mind I was searching more for the “You will be so glad you did this” or the “You will love it” reassurance that I did the right thing even though I feel I did. I just have to say, I am SO sorry to those of you that have had it done and it was not all good and as you expected it to be! At this time, I can only imagine your frustration.

I am a 37 (almost 38) mama of 6 and I had a tubal ligation and an ablation on Feb 3rd. I have always wanted 8-10 children so this choice didn’t come lightly. It weighed on my heart for a few years. I have spent many hours deep in thought, prayer and in my head battle over making the appointment that would ultimately change my life forever.

For a little TMI: I have always had heavy periods and horrible cramps which I controlled most of the time, between children, with the birth control pill and it worked for the most part. But as everyone knows, especially those who watch TV commercials know there are side effects that come with all drugs, period, so I already knew that I didn’t want to take the BCP forever. And not being in a relationship, married or even sexually active taking  the pill and exposing myself to “effects” wasn’t what I wanted to continue doing long term.

6 years ago when my 6th and youngest child was born and I went in for my 6 week check up my then OB/GYN suggested that I get an ablation done. He briefly explained the procedure, he may have explained it in depth but I am pretty sure I blocked him out the second he said I wouldn’t be able to carry a child again. The fact that it would cure the heavy period and cramping sounded great but never ever having the chance to have another child scared me.

Fast forward thru those years of taking the pill even though I didn’t want to, moving to WA state where my periods basically said “What pill!?” and acted as if I was on none on top of the new diagnosis, high blood pressure, my days of ever taking the BCP ended. Isn’t that what I wanted all along? Isn’t that what I prayed for, a solution to not have to medicate my body? A way to not have to deal with this 2+week bleeding and contraction like cramps?

The research began, a tubal/Esure, an IUD,  a patch, a partial hysterectomy… My options appeared to be limited with the period history so my choices were narrowed down for me. It was a tubal or Esure (which is also a type of tubal where metal springs are inserted in your tubes where scar tissue grows and prevents pregnancy) and possibly a partial hysterectomy. I don’t know about you but inserting metal springs into my tubes didn’t sound very appealing along with all the lawsuits that were attached to stories of people getting this done and research that doesn’t date back very far. Is this that new? Did they just creates something to block the tubes and ask people to sign up to try it!? Yikes! And finding a doc that still does a “regular tubal” also proved to be somewhat of a challenge. Along with only doing a tubal will NOT take care of my main problem, the periods. After hearing a certain docs name come up in several conversations with people and asking my PCP I finally found a great doc that would do a regular tubal and an ablation (which they prefer to do together in some cases to further prevent a pregnancy from trying to attach itself to the wall of the uterus after ablation). He said a partial hysterectomy was not needed and if anything would be a last resort if needed down the road.

Now the tests begin. Ultrasounds, biopsies (AKA crotch saw! OUCH!) and blood work to make sure there were no underlying problems before we proceeded with the surgery. Everything is a go in just 1 weeks time! Is this real? Am I really going to go thru with this? Doc office calls to set the appointment for the surgery, GULP! Am I sure this is what I want to do? Ugh so many doubts but yet so much excitement to get this done and over with. Sleepless nights, tears here and there and LOTS of prayer! Just do it Kelly!

Here goes nothing (or everything!). So grateful to my daughter for taking me there, watching her little brother and waiting for me to bring me back home. Grateful for the kiddos at home that are prepared to help clean, cook and keep an eye on the babes for me while I recover from my 1st (and hopefully last) surgery. Several moments of question while I had my IV set up and talked to all the nurses but I was really just ready, ready to begin this new journey, ready to have 1 less thing to worry about in life, ready to put this behind me. Check in at 9am, surgery time 11am, out by 12pm and on my way home by 1:30pm. 2 incisions on my tummy, 1 in belly button 1 above pubic line. Waking up and realizing it was done and I was still alive allowed for some tears for a brief moment, even though the nurse kept saying crying after anesthesia is normal, it wasn’t from the anesthesia. It was from the realization. Had my throat not been so raw from the breathing tube I would have been able to express that to her, owell, hahaha.

Day 1, SO sore. Dizzy, brain fog, a lil nauseous, hungry, cotton mouth, shaky and so tired. 1st night I could not sleep, had the worst vivid dreams and the worst cotton mouth. Can’t take the hydrocodone their prescribed due to itchiness so ibuprofen it is.

Day 2, getting out of bed was hard, what is this shoulder and neck pain from UGH! No voice, raw throat. SO sore, felt like I would rip the stitches. I so do not do good with anyone touching my belly button much less there being stitches in it, YUCK! Thinking some of the nausea was coming from that. Stairs so NOT my friend… Sore during the day and so foggy headed but restless not able to sit still for long. Trying to gather my thoughts feeling a lil lost. But overall not too bad. Honestly expected to feel worse. Still couldn’t sleep. Insomnia… Dreams… Dizzy…

Day 3, Dear Lord… The worst day so far. Throat still raw. Felt feverish, sore, nauseated, dizzy, couldn’t move and couldn’t sit still. Ibuprofen not making any difference. No appetite. Sad and tearful. Kept thinking about all the mistakes I made in my life wondered if this was 1 of them (WTF!?) Who am I!? Drove for the 1st time today, probably wasn’t the safest thing to do… Sorry other drivers near me when I was going 20 in a 40 thinking I was speeding. Thank goodness it was just up the road.

Day 4, a busy day ahead catching up on all appointments. Feeling better, still sore but controlled by ibuprofen, thank you God! Did WAY too much and felt it by evening time felt sick to tummy and dizzy. Sleep calling my name. Frustrated, just want to feel good again and feel normal. Just want to have energy and umph! Want to be able to bend down and get the laundry out of the dryer, is that too much to ask!?

Day 5, today, Feel SO much better!  Slept so good, whew! Ate breakfast for 1st time all week. Sore, but didn’t take ibuprofen till noon. Getting some work done. Still a lil foggy brained but SO much better than the last few days. Still a lil hoarse but not as sore throat. Feel like I can actually go for a walk, a short 1, but a walk. Stairs are a little easier as well. All in all feel pretty good. (fingers crossed its all good from here!)

This is my journey with this experience. I have been asked many questions before the surgery and several questions now as to how this all came about, why I was doing it and how I am feeling now that it is done so I felt it was best to share it all in 1 place. At this point I have no regrets and feel great about my choice. Based on what my doctor has said, I am where I am suppose to be with the recovery period and maybe even doing a little more than expected at this point. Everybody is different and everyone’s body reacts different! Your doctor is your best bet for advice as he/she knows you and your history and how you should be handling your situation. Contact them right away if something doesn’t feel right.

indextt

Here’s to a new chapter in my book of life! One that I am just beginning and looking forward to seeing how it goes.

P.S. If you have an experience with a tubal, ablation, birth control or just want to stop in and say Hi please feel free to do so!

Update Feb 20th: 2 week check up at doc, all is well. Was told I can resume all normal activities as in baths, sex, and tampons if needed. Incisions are healed. Still having “discharge”, doc explained it to be the uterine lining healing process. Can last 2-12 weeks, oh joy!

Update March 4th 2014: 1 month post-op. I feel great! Discharge done. No period yet. No weird “hormonal” issues lots of other women have talked about, like face break outs, or moodiness. Whew!

Mama Bear Plus 6

 

Based on statistics 1 of my children

I am a mom of 6 VERY different kiddos and a unique son in law was added in the mix last year. My growing family fricking rocks, perfect hell NO, but awesome? hell YES! I LOVE IT and look forward to what the future holds for each 1. Seeing them all grow and change as they walk, and sometimes run thru these years is priceless. Ups and downs? Yes, of course! Adventure? Absolutely!

Now the not so pretty truth… Based on statistics chances are at least 1 of my kids will never have kids, 1 may have lots of kids, 1 may marry someone of a different race, 1 may be gay, 1 may end up a teen parent, 1 may become a drug addict, 1 may become a felon, 1 may drop out of school (high or college), 1 may get on food stamps, 1 may be fat, 1 may change their religion 5 times or choose to not believe in a higher power at all, and the list goes on, these are just a few things that some people in today’s world look down upon and choose to judge others over. I am not saying that I have never judged someone, we all have, everyone judges, period. But I have chosen to be more aware of how my comments, reactions, and the look I give people can affect how they feel about themselves. I have chosen to accept. Accept that even if I do not agree or like what someone else is doing that it is not my place to “make them feel bad about it”, especially not as a parent.

“It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.” ― Billy Graham

When it comes to my own kids, and I speak for MYSELF here, it is my job to raise them with love, security, nurture, faith, comfort, rules, guidance, respect, focus, limits, structure, consequences, routines, traditions, expectations, and so so so much more. As a mom of many I choose to be very open minded, maybe it is easier for me than others to make that choice, I don’t know. But what I do know is that our youth are suffering and it is heart breaking! Over just the last 2 weeks I have spoke with 3 teens (and many more over months & years) that are going thru stuff  that they can’t share at home or with their families or that have tried and have been judged and called a sinner etc. How do you think they feel right now? What kinds of things are they thinking? Life is hard on adults, imagine how hard it is on our youth… I am not saying that I am a better parent then anyone else but 1 thing I am without a doubt is understanding. I understand my kids will make mistakes, and will make choices I will not approve of (but WILL love them thru it), will fall on their faces, will sneak behind my back and break rules, will be people others will judge, will judge people themselves, and will do their best to find their way in this harsh crazy world we all live in, I did these things, we all did at some point.

Lord please help me to be the mom my kids and other kids can come to and openly talk to and trust, help me be a person who can show them they are loved and important and that THEIR feelings matter if they don’t have that at home or in their circle of people, help me to try not to “understand” what they are going thru but to be the listening ear and the loving hug that they need when they have made a choice that is out of the “normal” for the world, help me help others to open their hearts to our youth and to love them unconditionally.  My heart is breaking for so many young people that don’t have love and acceptance, especially by the people they love and cherish. I know there are things that my kids have not told me and may have been more comfortable telling other people or each other (their “sister code”) but as long as they are able to talk to a person they trust about whatever it is then it puts my heart at peace, yes I want them to be able to tell me anything, of course, but I also know my teens and how it is hard for teens including mine to tell their parent(s) things when they think they may have “let them down”.

I, over time, have asked my teens, sometimes in a round about way, how they would expect me to react and/or want me to react to different situations in life as they come or how they would react if someone they love were faced with trails. Love and acceptance goes a along way… Yes folks, their opinion matters! Doesn’t mean I will do it their way but their opinion how they would come out of a situation in the most positive way matters. I have not personally dealt with all of these situations listed but know people who have and asked for their feedback as to how they did or wish they had handled it. To name a few…

If your child comes home this evening and tells you that he/she is gay, LOVE THEM, ACCEPT THEM, and be their trusted guide thru this new journey in their life! Do you have to like it!? No but they are your child and after all, God made them just the way they are 🙂 They will be bullied and judged enough during this journey, be the support they are longing for. Will it be hard for you to hear? Possibly, but imagine how hard it was for them to tell you and how scared they were but trusted their guide to talk to you shaking inside hoping that you will just pull them in and hug them tight and tell them you love them just they way they are.

If your child comes home this evening and tells you that he/she is using drugs and needs help, HELP THEM, ACCEPT THEM, LOVE THEM,  and be the trusted guide to get them thru this oh so heavy battle. God has given each of you the strength to walk this walk and get thru this and onto a path of sobriety. Easy? No Worth the struggle? YES!

If your child comes home tonight and tells you that they have been sexually abused, BELIEVE THEM, LOVE THEM, ACCEPT THEM, CHOOSE THEM, NOT the abuser (NO matter how much you “love and trust” him or her!) and be their trusted guide to healing and trusting that God has not punished by “allowing” this to happen to them but has equipped them to help others and to grow from their experience. Help them see this and truly believe it. Some of us have been there and know how easy it is to blame things that happen on our lives on our past, help them to grow away from doing that. Help them to build their happiness, security and safety higher than ever so they can reach others with their strength. Sadly a lot of times the abuser is believed and chosen over the children, the victims, this my friends will forever damage the child, their world, their hearts & souls, their trust, their bond with you as their parent and who knows what else. God trusted you to raise and love your child, choose them.

If you find drugs or cigarettes or porn in your childs room, LOVE THEM, TALK TO THEM (maybe yell a little hehe), ACCEPT THEM, try to understand that this could be an addiction and they may be silently screaming for help. God has equipped you both with a way to break this cycle and to heal from addiction and to get to a brighter path. You can do this together, but addiction alone is a harsh and scary thing. Don’t turn your back on them. Right now is when they need you the most.

If your teen comes home today and tells you she is pregnant or he got someone pregnant, LOVE THEM, TALK TO THEM, ACCEPT THEM and face what has happened together. You, at this point, can’t change what has been done. All you can do is join together and discuss what the next steps are. They will be scared and nervous and so unsure of what will happen to their future. Assure them they are not alone. Is it okay this happened? Of course not, but it did and now the should’ve would’ve could’ve crap has no meaning. God equipped you all with the patience, strength and faith to walk this path so get to stepping and have faith it is all a part of the “bigger plan”.

If your child is caught stealing and you get that dreaded call from the police or family member they stole from, LOVE THEM, ACCEPT THEM, HELP THEM, be the person that can and will teach them it is wrong and that they will have to face the consequences that come with breaking the law. God has given you the patience and strength to love them thru bad situations and when they make mistakes.

Our kids are going to f**k up folks! We all have, we all still will! We are all only human and often times we forget that our youth deserves the same 2nd, 3rd, 18th, 21973268th chance with us as parents as our maker gives us! I will say it again, NO I am not a perfect parent and NO I am not telling anyone how to parent I am simply stating how we as parents can change our future our youth with loving them thru the crap in this world. They are NOT “just kids or just teens or just children” they are people, people with REAL feelings, heart, emotions and souls who are fueled by and need love, care and support from us adults.

Once-you-accept-that-your-child-will-be-different-not-better-or-worse-just-different-thats-the-first-step

Mama Bear Plus 6

A large family-How to keep it all together!

If you are like me, trying to keep track of everything without post its, scrap paper taped everywhere, an occasional pen art reminder on the back of your hand, dry erase boards full, desire for a chalk board refrigerator or wall, an overloaded smartphone calendar etc is IMPOSSIBLE! And with all those things I still miss so much, why? NO organization to the madness!!

The dreaded call from the dentist office stating that this is the 2nd time we missed an appointment and next time we will be charged and/or placed on a “walk in and wait basis” and the next time you see the smiling receptionist there she quickly loses her smile and stares at you with the “how dare you miss appointment and don’t call in so we can see someone who takes their teeth care more serious” look… Ya enough is enough! I like having friends and chatting it up with all office staff everywhere I go! It is time to fix this!

My 1st thought, create my own family calendar that has more than the usual “Calender fit for the whole family” (whose family!? NOT mine!) LIE! 1 that will fit all our 6 of us and has room for other family members that I need to remember stuff for, just because they have grown up and moved out doesn’t mean there isn’t any special dates or appointments that I need to know for them from time to time! They just moved they didn’t fall of the face of the Earth!

I get it, I need a unique calendar and so I shall make my own. Buuttt until then, which could very well be by the time my own kids need it for their families or maybe their families after that, or may always remain an idea or thought, I will have to use 1 that works best for us. 1 that can keep up with this crazy thing we call life in this house. I have searched and have found very few that I like. I get it, most families don’t have 6+ kids, but I do so I need what works for us!

I found this Amy Knapp’s Big Grid Family Wall Calendar! It is AWESOME! It is filled with monthly projects, because yes I space so much stuff and need reminders like these, it has space for dinner menus (um heck to the YES!), it has plenty of space for all my crazy crew and all their “stuff”, it has space for mom too (yes occasionally I take time to visit the doc or dentist, I know shocking!), it has space for notes and reminders (thank goodness!), the quotes on each page are an added bonus cause sometimes we need like things like positive sayings to keep us on track, and so on! I am SO digging this Amy Knapp chick, she has a clue about life chaos and I like people like that!

So if you are a nut job like myself and have a large family whether it is your own kids, grand-kids, nieces, nephews, a retirement home, a pet hotel, a zoo, etc grab yourself 1 of these calendars and organize your life this year! Do it for your sanity (and for your children’s safety!) and for your reputation at the dentists office!

 

P.S. Happy Organizing! If you have any tips or calendars or suggestions please share them with us!

Mama Bear Plus 6

Feeding a Large Family Tips

I often get asked about meals, cooking, shopping for a big family.

“How do you do it?”

“I bet that costs a fortune!”

“Is it hard to cook for so many?”

“Do you plan out your meals?”

“Will you share your recipes?”

And the list goes on…

I am not an extreme coupon-er, although I certainly wish I was! A certain level of jealously hits me when I see all these people saving butt loads of money at the store with coupons and here I am handing the check out person 3-8 coupons saving a few bucks. I have always wanted to do it but can never quite figure it out, the only coupons I ever get are for toothpaste, deodorant, all the name brand laundry stuff etc. And it is for all the stuff I don’t use so am I missing something!? Am I not looking in the right place for the right coupons!? I prefer store brand stuff on most things I but (except for fabric softener and Mac and Cheese, no just no!) And I feel I am saving a good amount of money by doing that so this my friends is how I keep the coupon jealousy down to a minimum! I do however follow the Krazy Coupon Lady’s blog and do follow some of her amazing tips and use some of her coupons etc! http://thekrazycouponlady.com/

As for our family I will share with you what works for us and what we also plan to try to see if it is a fit.

Ever heard of a fruit/veggie co-op? We have used several and really enjoy the produce and the savings! Now these may or may not be located in your city so a quick Google search should let you know. We have used Market on the Move http://the3000club.org/ and they always have an abundance of produce! Not sure if this is only located in AZ but you can always check. 1 we really love and have used for years is Bountiful Baskets! They are in many cities so chances are good you will find 1 near you, if not contact them and start 1! http://bountifulbaskets.org/. They have more than just produce that you can purchase as well, like honey, breads, combo packs etc all at a discount price! Check them out!

Menu/Meal Planning We plan out all our meals, recipes, etc and then make a list based on that for at least 2 weeks and then shop for those items. I use the sales ads to plan the meals and talk about saving time, money & headaches! It saves me from having to go to the grocery store often (which is great for me considering we live 20 min from any major grocery stores) and cooking is so much more fun when you have all you need ahead of time! Plus the kids like knowing what we are having for dinner each night of the week. http://mamabearplus6.com/meal-planning-or-go-with-the-flow/

Quality Discount Meats. We also have used a discount place for meats, chicken, fish, produce, and the best bacon, called Zaycon! https://www.zayconfoods.com/. This is where you buy meats by the case. You can buy the case if you can afford it or go in with another family member of friend to stock up. I have heard there are other places like Zaycon but I have yet to find them so if you know of any please share! Also too, we are considering buy a whole cow and/or pig and spiting it up between our family and my daughter and her hubbys households and may even add a friend on with us. It is a great way to stock the freezer and splitting the cost to make it affordable for everyone. And it supports local farmers, win win!

Grow your own! A GREAT way to feed the fam and eat healthy and what a wonderful experience it is! Seeds are cheap and with effort and love you can have a hearty garden to put food on the table! Our very 1st real garden experience this last summer and I am in LOVE with it! Looking forward to growing it bigger and better every year!

Find your local growers! We spent many days in Greenbluff, which is a local farming area that grows ALL sorts of produce! We would go and pick pounds of fruits/veggies for a great price and so so yummy too! Find a local grower in your area!

Sales! If I groceries on a good sale, I stock up! Meats, boxed sides, household goods etc. Check your store ads weekly so you know what is coming up on sale and can prepare to buy those items and stock up on them. If it is produce that is on sale, buy it, chop it, freeze it, you will be so glad you did! The stuff you cant freeze, create a weekly menu, meals and snacks based on those items that you bought while they were cheaper.

Buy bulk when it makes sense. I say this because it is not always cheaper to buy bulk! On some things yes, but not on everything. I LOVE Costco and I have certain things I will only buy there but there are some items that I can get cheaper like spaghetti sauce hahaha! Always check prices and see if it is a great deal. I love how my teens now always check labels and sue their math skills to see what is cheaper per unit etc. A few seconds of time to do this can add up a great deal of savings over time!

Bulk meals. Something we are new too and just beginning to try is bulk meals. We will be shopping with our family along with my oldest daughter and her hubby to buy bulk, make numerous ready to cook crock pot freezer meals to stock both of our freezers for the winters. I am excited to start this and will surely blog about how it goes. We will include recipes, shopping lists and how the overall experience goes. Stay tuned 🙂

P.S. These are just a few ways that we shop, cook etc and save money! What tips/tricks help you save money!? What would you add to this list!?

 


Mama Bear Plus 6

What’s 14 more grey hairs

It all starts with a promise, as most of us know small child promises are like mud pies, they mean SO much, look appealing, tempting but you know better than to take a bite. But since they come from their hearts just as mud pies do you want to accept them with a smile & believe they will be wonderful.

Alexa “Mom I promise that if you let me watch 1 more episode of Good Luck Charlie that I will go right to sleep and wake up in the morning when you wake me up.” Aiven “Ya mom we will, we even pinky promise!” A pinky promise you say!? Well that’s as good as gold! Deal!

Go right to sleep a half hour after your “normal” bedtime kids? Hmm maybe but highly unlikely, no control over it and that’s okay but mama promises that you will be tired come sun up hahaha. Did they wake when I woke them up like they pinky promised they would? Hmm not so much but good try though! Only had to re-wake twice! Not bad…

Here is the kicker, tired kids mean very slow moving whiny kids.

7AM

Mom “What do you want for breakfast?”

Alexa “I can’t find my jeans I wanted to wear, is there anything in the dryer?”

Mom “No all the laundry is done and put away, they are in your room somewhere. What do you want for breakfast?”

Alexa (whines) “I can’t find them that’s what I wanted to wear, I can’t find anything else”

Mom “Um did all your clothes disappear overnight!? What do you want for breakfast?”

Aiven “Can I wear my black pants again?”

Mom “No Aiven you wore those on Wednesday, What do you want for breakfast?”

Aiven (whines) “But I want to wear them they are my favorite pants”

7:20AM

Mom “What do you guys want for breakfast?”

Alexa & Aiven (whines) “I am not hungry”

Mom “You have to eat before school, how about fruit and a string cheese?”

Alexa “No, I want a bagel”

Mom “We are out of bagels, are you dressed yet?”

Alexa “No I still can’t find what to wear”

Aiven “I want pancakes, can I please wear my black pants?”

Mom “No Aiven, wear the clothes I picked out for you”

Aiven “NO mom! I’m big I will get my own clothes out I just really like those pants”

7:40AM

Mom getting all the stuff out for pancakes…

Alexa “I don’t want pancakes I want French toast”

Aiven “I want French toast too”

Ties my shoes, do my hair, Aiven has my toothbrush and won’t give it back, help me find my clip on bear for my backpack, where is my shoe, can you sign this paper for my teacher, what are we having for dinner, I need money for the book order, I wanted the powder chocolate in my milk not the syrup, can I pack my lunch today cause I don’t like the burrito at school, the cat is drinking my choco milk, I didn’t want powdered sugar on my French toast, can I change this shirt I don’t like the way it fits, can I call grandma…

8:05AM

Mom “Is that the bus already!?”

Alexa & Aiven “Yes”

The sound of 6 feet running for the street… We made it! Whew!

Mom (heavy breathing) “Wait let me take a picture! Okay bye kiddos love you have a great day!”

ResizedImage_1378500143481

Alexa “Bye mom love you too have a good day to see you after school I’m going to miss you”

Aiven “Bye mom love you so much you are the best mom ever I love you more than chicken see you after school”

Yep wouldn’t change being a mom to all these awesome & crazy kids for the world! (Even if they give me 14 grey hairs every morning before 8am!)

Starbucks solo, here I come! (Did you know, they have all their pumpkin stuff back in!? I am not too into all that, but seemed like the morning crowd was pretty excited as I people watched silently for a few)

IMG_20130906_100252_870

Mama Bear Plus 6